i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
