I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
