Michael Bay diarrhea
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
