Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
