Can i not drive my cunt home
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
