things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
