you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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