As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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