before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize