I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
