Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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