Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
