I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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