You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
