at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
