Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
