if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
