Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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