Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
