Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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