we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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