I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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