What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize