just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
