yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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