thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
