Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
