he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
