Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
