come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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