Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
