I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
