i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
