420 ftw
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
