ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
