Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
