i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
