I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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