the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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