I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
