haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
