If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
