I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize