I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
