heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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