If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
