OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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