My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
