i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
