She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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