i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
