Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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