I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Text me some of your sweat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
