i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
