Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
