so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
