he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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